Tradwives and Other Dangerous Fantasies — A Memoir by Rebecca Marlor
One Man’s Legacy of Destruction
In 2019, Rebecca Marlor’s husband died by suicide after years of escalating domestic violence and psychological collapse.
This memoir looks backward through the decades that shaped that tragedy — tracing intergenerational abuse, coercive control, incest, silence and institutional failure from the 1950s onward.
At a time when “traditional family values” are once again being romanticised online, Tradwives and Other Dangerous Fantasies examines what those systems looked like inside one Australian family across three generations.
Read the Essays Behind the Book
The systems behind “traditional family values” never disappeared. They evolved.
On her Substack, They Always Want More, Rebecca writes about invisible labour, optimisation culture, gender, power, AI and the extraction systems shaping modern life.
Some essays connect directly to the memoir. Others explore the broader systems surrounding it.
About the Book
Beginning with a domestic violence tragedy in 2019, Rebecca Marlor traces the intergenerational systems that shaped it — following patterns of violence, coercion, secrecy and inherited trauma across decades of one Australian family.
As the memoir moves backward through time, it examines how abuse survives through silence, dependency, family mythology and social protection for violent men.
The book documents the realities often erased from nostalgic visions of the 1950s and 1960s family: women without financial independence, children without protection, and violence treated as a private matter best kept inside the home.
This is not a story about isolated evil.
It is a story about what happens when violence becomes normalised inside a system designed to protect authority over accountability.
Early Reader Praise
Even knowing parts of the story beforehand, I was completely compelled by its fleshing out. Marlor writes with warmth and empathy, conveying strong messages about deeply sensitive topics.
Rebecca's book is powerful and important. She writes about family secrets with understanding while showing bigger issues affecting women in difficult relationships.
A meticulously researched account that connects personal narrative to broader social patterns with remarkable clarity.
About Rebecca
Rebecca Marlor is an Australian writer and communications strategist whose work examines coercive systems, invisible labour, power and the stories societies choose to romanticise.
Drawing from lived experience alongside a background across government, communications and complex stakeholder environments, her writing connects personal trauma to the broader systems that enable and normalise harm.
She publishes regularly through her Substack, They Always Want More, and lives in Sydney, Australia.
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